On love and mini powdered donuts…..

Did you have a favorite food as a kid? I had many, but one that sticks out vividly in my mind is mini powdered donuts. They came in a little sleeve of about six, all lined up.
We did not have a lot of money growing up. My family owned our home, but we were what you would call “house poor,” we had a nice big home filled with free furniture and clothing from thrift stores. We only ever got new things at Christmas and for the start of the new school year. Every once in a while, I would find tucked in my lunchbox a package of these little donuts. Our daily meals typically consisted of variations on the theme of cheap processed carbohydrates and the green beans that were grown in the garden. With a tight food budget, that 79 cent package of donuts was a true extravagance. My little 7-year-old stomach would easily fit all of them. They were sweet and firm, with a cake-like mealeyness that left a full feeling in my mouth.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this same packet in the venting machine at work, except 20 years later the price has almost doubled. In the mood for a little nostalgia, I bought them and returned to my office.

These were nothing like the donuts I remembered. They fell apart with a high fructose corn syrup-based artificial moistness. I took one bite and was unsatisfied, but continued to eat the whole packet. I felt polluted from the sugar. They were one texture all the way though, and when I was done I still felt hungry.

Sometimes when reflecting on a past relationship I’ll think it wasn’t as bad as I had percieved it to be. Sometimes I’ll focus on the good parts, like when an old boyfriend gave me flowers, and not the fight that precipitated the flowers.

Maybe I remember the donuts and not the fact that I got them in my lunch because my parents felt bad that they couldn’t afford the leotard I needed for a school talent show. Maybe I choose to remember the donuts and not the fact that I was the only kid out of 90 who wore jeans and a tshirt.

Maybe these kinds of memories are best left in the past.

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~ by jamiesnydertv on April 8, 2009.

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