200 Pounds of American Beef

My hips ache today. My poor bones had to support the weight of one of the hottest men I’ve seen in a long time. Who knew that Chaste Hug Guy possessed a libido that matched mine?

This pain feels so good, and I really hope I get to experience it again. I ache from being stretched and manipulated in ways I’ve been seeking for so long.

But besides that, it seems I really like this guy. I don’t know if he likes me as well or if he’s just on the rebound or what, (my messages of “I like you” have gone unanswered), but he’s really someone I’d like to get to know. So for now, I’ll wait. I’ve had the feeling of  physical longing for so long (5 years, holy shit!) that I guess I don’t know how to respond.

I’ve been in this situation before and have my heart broken too many times to keep pushing. I’ll give it a rest. The ball is in his court. I tend to be a “put it all out there” kind of person. It’s gets me into trouble too often.

I’m a little too ready to dive into another relationship. I have so much pent up sexual frustration and dreams to share than to walk solo for too much longer. As a friend of mine said recently, “Jamie’s not single, she’s available!”

I suppose this all sounds kind of pathetic.

Not many people are in the same place I am right now, and while there’s really nothing wrong with that, I find it frustrating. I want a regular lay. I want to be loved. I want someone to tell me I’m attrative over and over again. And yet, I’m so used to being the pursuer. I don’t know how to act in this situation. I’m really lost here.

And yet, there is nothing I want right now more than to be writhing under the sheets with him once more.

I’ll see how this all plays out….but I hope it goes for a while.

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~ by jamiesnydertv on October 27, 2009.

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